Roasted Broccoli for Lazy Jerks

roasted broccoli
Sometimes, Heather leaves the apartment for a while during mealtime and I am left to my own devices. Now, I can cook—my mama raised me right—and I enjoy it, but sometimes there are more important things to do like play video games or watch The Dark Knight for the second dozenth time. In times like these, I prefer to prepare a quick and simple meal for myself that is still reasonably delicious and healthy. This usually includes a lean protein like grilled chicken breast or salmon, a simple carb like rice or tater tots, and a green vegetable. Bucking the cliché, broccoli has always been one of my favorites. I used to prefer it simply steamed, served with a little bit of salt and pepper, but recently I have become obsessed with roasting it. Here’s what I do, in five ridiculously simple steps:

Roasted Broccoli for Lazy Jerks

Active time: 5 minutes  |  Total time: 20 minutes  |  Yield: Approx. 2 cups


1 bunch fresh broccoli

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp sea salt (more or less, to taste)

1 tsp fresh ground black pepper (more or less, to taste)


  1. Pre-heat oven to 400°.
  2. Without washing it, chop the broccoli into florets. Not washing it is important. The water left on the broccoli will adversely affect the cooking and the adhesion of the oil. (Don’t worry, the 400° oven will adequately kill off anything that could make you sick.)
  3. In a large bowl, toss the broccoli with the oil, salt, and pepper, making sure that everything is coated and distributed evenly.
  4. Spread the broccoli out on a baking sheet and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, depending on your tenderness preference. I like mine a little crunchier, so 15 minutes is perfect for me.
  5. Serve hot and enjoy!


  1. Michele – October 4, 2012 at 22:40

    Seriously, I’ve now made this so many times now. AWESOME.

    • Mike – October 4, 2012 at 23:00

      Sweet! Yeah, it’s so easy, but so delicious. I give broccoli all the credit.

    • Heather – October 5, 2012 at 11:02

      Michele, if you want to advance to the next level of delicious broccoliness, try tossing a few sliced garlic cloves in with the broccoli before roasting. When it comes out, zest a lemon and then squeeze half of it over the top. DYN-O-MITE!

  2. Puja – May 14, 2012 at 18:32

    We do this with cauliflower + cumin + a touch of cayenne.
    p.s. How dare Heather leave you alone in the apartment during mealtime… shame on her!

    • Heather – October 5, 2012 at 11:00

      I almost never roast cauliflower but now you’re giving me the inspiration. Sounds delicious, Puj!

      (Also, I know, right? What a B.)

  3. Vi Cash – May 14, 2012 at 10:30

    Try it with lemon pepper…I put it in with the oil before roasting….

    • Heather – October 5, 2012 at 10:59

      Vi, I do the same! I love lemon pepper on broccoli.

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